FIELD GUIDE TO FABS: Fat Admirer Bullshit
.01 | The Closet Case
Description: The Closet Case is a breed of het male Fat Admirer that has appropriated LGBTQ language of “coming out of the closet” in response to social pressures against romantic or sexual relationships with fat partners. While such pressures do exist, the Closet Case lacks the capacity to understand these pressures in the context of more oppressive social influences and feel their desire to have heterosexual relationships is condemned on par with, if not greater than, those of LGBTQ individuals. In response, they have chosen to shelter their sexual and romantic desires from their friends and family and exist “in the closet”. While some wallow in solitude, the more invasive of the species will seek to procure romantic and sexual relationships under the demands that their fat partners bare the brunt of their shame.
Mating Call: “Ya know, its harder to be a fat admirer than to be gay these days.”
Habitat: Inside metaphorical closets; not anywhere his friends, family, or co-workers might see him with you; in the notes of this post insisting you just don’t understand how hard it is to be him
Common interactions: In addition to their deeply flawed sense of the proportion of the social pressures on fat admirers in comparison with LGBTQ individuals, Closet Cases rarely if ever stop to reflect on the social pressures and oppression facing actual fat persons. In the rare instances where they do, they are likely to minimize these struggles so as to assert their own difficulties as being of primary concern.
Many Closet Cases only interact with their desired sexual and romantic partners online, visiting forums to bemoan their hardships being “unable” to act upon their desires because of social stigmas. Often, though, a more malicious streak appears and the Closet Case will enter into emotionally abusive relationships with fat partners who are harassed to accept being compartmentalized as a part of their life the Closet Case is ashamed of, but unwilling to actually give-up. In this way, the Closet Case is able to satisfy their sexual desires while refusing to deal with their internalized shame, indeed externalizing that shame on to another.
Warning: While the solitary Closet Cases may only seem to be harming themselves, they are have still committed themselves to endorsing and enforcing fat stigmatization. Nevertheless, they do not come close to reaching the destructive influence of the active Closet Cases who emotionally abuse specific targets in order to gain access to sexual encounters while maintaining their Closet Case identity.
Prospects: For some Closet Cases, the designation is ultimately temporary and they are able to recognize that the stigma they face is far less than that which LGBTQ individuals and fat persons face. They will “come out of the closet” and in the most advanced cases of recovery will recognize that the entire notion of being in the closet was appropriation and disrespectful to begin with. Many, though, will only transfer to other designations of Fat Admirer Bullshit.